Fated To Pretend

6,767 notes

ajuran:

onlinepunk:

Imagine being a fly that accidentally gets trapped on a plane and they are taken away from their fly family and their fly children and they are forced to start anew in some foreign country that doesn’t even speak the same fly language as them and they have no idea how to get back to their home fly country and to their fly wife how stressful would that be

this is literally immigrants white people are so ready to understand a fly before an immigrant

(via ahyisdiscool)

354,266 notes

depressionista:

a true fact about spiders is they can’t run for extended periods of time because they have asthma. all spiders are nerds. even tarantulas. have you ever seen a spider dating a hot babe? i doubt it. spider flashing his cash in the club? nope. spider pulling up beside you at the lights in a lamborghini? never happened. they’ve got so many eyes because they love reading. nerds. all of them.

(Source: verylittlebird, via elaylea)

329,156 notes

Nice things to whisper when hugging someone

yogurtville:

-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-soon
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-tonight….you.
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-yessssssssssssss
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this

(via elaylea)

51,197 notes

CollegeHumor explains Net Neutrality

collegehumor:

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I’m Adam.

-And I’m Emily.

We make “funny videos” on the Internet.

-But soon, we might not be able to.

That’s because…

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…net neutrality is in jeopardy. Net Neutrality is the principle that says ISPs can’t discriminate between different types of traffic.

That means that…

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…whether you’re a bedroom music producer, a couple on an amateur porn site, or just someone with a start up idea - you get access to the same users as Netflix, Facebook or Amazon. On the Internet, anyone can succeed.

But…

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…America’s ISPs wanna set up a pay-for-play system where rich companies pay extra to get to those users first.

If this happens…

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…instead of a wonderful playground if innovation that it is now, the Internet will become like cable TV where you can only get stuff that’s been pre-approved by a bunch of old rich guys.

Ten years from now…

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…your Internet bill could be a bigger “fustercluck” than your cable bill.

Now, you might be thinking…

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…isn’t the government supposed to protect me from fragrant doucheholery like this?

Unfortunately…

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…the former chairman of the FCC (government agency that’s SUPPOSED to protect you) is now the cable industry’s head lobbyist. And another former cable industry lobbyist is now the CURRENT head of the FCC.

So…

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…we can’t trust the FCC to make the right decision on their own. That’s why WE need to protect the Internet we love. The chaotic, AWESOME, often quite weird, place where literally everyone’s voice can be heard.

In a few months…

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…the FCC will approve this festering soal of proposal unless we speak up. The Internet is one of the few places where human voices speak louder than money. So while that’s still the case, let’s use those voices. Go to DEARFCC.ORG and tell them to protect Net Neutrality. Thanks for doing your part to protect the Internet.

—-

Contact FCC at https://dearfcc.org/

IF DEARFCC.ORG IS DOWN, simply go to good oldhttp://www.savetheinternet.com/

All GIFS are courtesy of our new friend, RANDY!

—-

Source Video

(via times-a-crookedbow)